Why is shame so closely associated with sensuality?
Who does it threaten for me to be a sensual woman?
How did society manage to create normalcy around the instant gratification business of, fast-food, texting, information sharing platforms and create a sense of being irrational for us to trust our instincts? Difficult to connect to our neighbors? Feel with any extra level of depth?
I have always been a very sensitive feminine girl, woman... I feel your presence before I see you approach me. I cry easily. I see beauty in the curve of a woman's body.
To be sensual as a woman means you feel from all your senses deeply.
Not just sexually.
You explore your senses in your entire body, you take in different aromas, not just through your olfactory system, but in your memories. A perfume can remind you of a past lover or favourite aunt. As winds blow, they ruffle your hair, tickle your skin, carry songs of birds around you to be heard. Touch becomes comfort and pleasure. Bitter tastes warn of toxins in foods, and as mommas (and fathers) we can sense changes in our children if they react badly to red food dyes or too much sugar, but to tune so deeply into your sensuality that the world becomes alive, that is what society deems shameful.
Well, to hell with that.
I am a Divinely Feminine women navigating this world forward by allowing my senses to guide me.
To do so, I must be present.
And as a bit extra, I also allow my senses to guide me from a place of seeking pleasure over fearing living.
In modern society women are still objectified and valued for their physical attributes. When we embrace our sensuality, when we celebrate having the ability to feel pleasure deeper, express our needs, wants and desires, it challenges that objectification. We become more than the size of our asses. By suppressing individual autonomy, patriarchal influences attempt to suppress freedom of expression, impose strict codes of conduct and shame is a powerful tool to do so. Your pants are too tight, your skirt is too short. High schools have banned tank tops in schools because the sight of a woman's shoulders is unbearable to the boys around them.
Focus has shifted to ridiculous social norms and sensuality has been not just undervalued, but villainized. We are all born as sensual beings, and what we choose to do with that is where we hold our power.
As I navigate through my journey, as I step fuller and stronger into who I am, my sensual being is the life force of my core. My souls guide.
It is the fire in my passions and the pulse in my veins. It lives in the music I listen to, the foods I savour, the scent of trees after it rains. My sensuality is my sacred power that allows me to find pleasure that fills me up.
It is my lover's beard tickling my skin when he kisses me, and the way he touches my hair.
To embody your sensual self is to tell patriarchal systems you will not be controlled by their narrative. It is to follow your heart, to feel your way forward and to begin to prioritize having an intimate relationship with yourself.
To do so, you must let go of the urge to fill up on instant gratification and be present with your senses.
Close your eyes, what do you sense? Smell, hear, taste, feel, see? Can you explore engaging your senses deeper? Let pleasure be derived from the smell of spring spreading in the wind. I always love the way a forest feels alive after a summer rain, how the trees smell when they are damp and how the birds sing a little louder. I love how the ground softens beneath my step and how my campfires smoke brings such comfort to me. That is engaging in our senses!
And if you want to bring it into your sexuality then yes, it is also the way you feel safe being seen by your partner, the way their touch feels on your skin, is it teasing, enticing, pleasing? It is the way your breathe can deepen and quicken your blood rushing through your body. The way shivers create new pathways to your fingertips and toes. The way your lovers' lips taste sweet and feel hungry.
Thats my why.
Jo
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